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WEEKLY
FOCUS ARCHIVE
The
Call to be Fathers
June
22, 2005
- Freud, "I cannot think of any need in childhood as strong as
the need for a father's protection."
- Jewish Proverb: When a father gives to his son, both laugh; when
a son gives to his father, both cry.
- Knights of Pythagoras: A man never stands as tall as when he kneels
to help a child.
 The
Nearness of Dads
While Freud misses the mark when associating our "need for God"
with our broken relationships with earthly fathers, he at least understands
the impact fathers have on us. The absentee father is one of the major
weaknesses in the life of families today.
A dad's presence speaks nearness and the nearness of God -it brings
security stability, and sense of love and belonging. The nearness of
God is one of the critical doctrines of scripture and it is to be reflected
in our relationships with our family. He is called "Emmanuel, God
with us". As dads we need to be present, near.
No amount of money, no title, no honor, no amount of selfish pleasure
can replace the joy of being near one's kids. We miss so many precious
moments in the everyday life of our kids when we are not there. You
cannot write a check big enough to replace the cumulative total of these
moments. They are priceless. An unexpected smile, a first step, that
first real swim stroke, the first base hit, the first service ace! All
of that stuff is too good to miss out on, dads. And when we are present
for those moments we and our kid's hearts are lifted in ways that words
cannot express.
The idea that fathers fulfill all their duties as long as they are putting
a roof over head falls far short of the biblical call. Fathers are called
to be present and to be nurturing. The tough guy who comes home and
expects the kids to be quiet, a meal to be made, and "his"
home to be in order is missing what God has designed for the family.
The present nurturing father is the one who will leave a legacy behind.
Fathers have a call to champion the values of tenderness, unconditional
love and acceptance for "just showing up". We have to be around
to champion those values.
Dads set the tone for the lives
of their kids
"It is not who you are underneath that matters, you are defined
by what you do"---that's a quote from the recent Batman movie!
There is a great deal of truth in those words. We are defined in the
eyes of our kids by what we do, no what we say. How we live in front
of our kids makes the difference.
Examples of Constancy, faithfulness, excellence give them foundations
for the rest of their lives. Endurance amidst difficulty demonstrates
a critical value for the future. The affirmation of boundaries in a
culture that wants to rush through any boundaries that are set by others
is central to a life well lived.
Understanding consequences result from our actions and decisions, and
blessing comes from a life lived in devotion to God-these are must haves.
Poise
We teach our kids life lessons through our stability.
Strength amidst pressure is a trait our kids see too infrequently in
those around them. The modus operandi is "if the going gets tough…get
going". We must teach our kids
composure amidst turmoil and the will to fight amidst huge odds. Our
kids need to learn, early, the value of endurance amidst grief and pain
and the value of strategy and thoughtfulness amidst a culture that embraces
impulse. When we hand down the value of poise to our sons and daughters
we give them a critical platform for what life is going to bring their
way down the road.
Teaching Fathers
The knowledge of God is the most important thing we hand down to our
kids. The
knowledge of who He is and His attributes of Grace, compassion, joy,
the adventure of faith-these are things which establish our children
for life.
We must teach kids to live under the loving gaze of God…to develop
a life lived in His presence, His kind, tender and loving presence.
We must make it clear that our kids are to have one thing as the number
one goal, their chief aim--to know God and enjoy Him forever. The will
know our passions as they watch us over the years. We must teach them
the value of rightly placed affections and demonstrate our pursuit of
the chief end of man.
Leaving the Legacy
It will all go back in the box at some point. Just like the game of
monopoly, all the houses, cars, toys, trips, all the stuff at the end
of the game goes right back in the box. At the end our lives all but
our legacy eventually fades away. All the stocks, bonds, property and
toys we may leave our kids will mean little in comparison to the spiritual
legacy we leave when we lead lives devoted to God. If we have merely
taught our kids to collect stuff we missed the mark. The cravings of
our culture will always leave a hunger for more. They are ultimately
unsatisfying. Only the legacy of a life well lived in front of our kids
will teach them to hunger for God. When that becomes their pursuit the
trappings of the world will lose allure. We must ask ourselves, "What
will my kids say about my greatest love, agenda, passions, and pursuits?"
The answer to that question means more than we can imagine.
Bruce Smith (Rev.)
Director of Development, Teaching Pastor
bruce@uptownchurch.net
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